You become "that person" people stare at in the supermarket. For months after my husband died, I didn't want to leave my house. I felt like the whole world was watching me. It's as if what happened to you is what everyone else is afraid of, so they just stare and pray they won't become you one day.
People do and say the dumbest things around you. That is their problem, not yours. I was once standing outside my hair salon when a woman I knew walked out. I noticed that she saw me. She immediately stuck her head in her handbag and pretended to be frantically looking for something. Then she ran back into the salon.
Friends and family may not always understand that you don't have time. Everyone means well with phone calls, emails and texts, but it is impossible to give everyone a response in a timely manner. You are adjusting to a new and scary life, and so are your children. I know I did not have the time or energy to focus on anything but that. There are those who might not understand this and might get insulted.
That can be upsetting at a time when you do not need extra stress. But sometimes people will surprise you with understanding. My aunt once called to check on me, and I never returned her call. When I saw her a month or so later at a holiday dinner, I immediately apologized to her.
Her response was, "You don't ever have to apologize to me, I totally understand. You are going through enough. Sign up here. Accept help when it is offered. I was lucky enough to have friends and family who were always trying to do whatever they could for me. At first, I resisted. I felt like this was my problem and I had to do it all for myself, and my children. But I realized quickly that doing everything is hard. Little by little, I began to let others do for me when I felt that they genuinely wanted to.
I am trying very hard to be strong. After 3 weeks I am back to work and I am blessed to have a stronger than me support group of family and friends. We never had any children. Be strong ladies. It is hardest for those of us left behind. But we must keep moving forward. I find comfort in talking to him often throughout the day. I wish you all peace and comfort.
Sometimes I do feel peaceful, other times I find myself just weepy. I started grieving before he died, as he battled cancer 3 years. His family can not take his death, denies it happened and walks around like a zombie. I had three years to begin my grief walk, unfortunately. Everyone says to start doing things, hobbies, etc.
An empty house?? What about just wanting a hug? My heart is going mph. All of my friends are married and I am determined not to be dependent or needing to be babysat. I know it has been a month and that is a short time — for sure. I just want to be strong, forge forward, but am finding a bit of difficult in what to do now….
Strength and prayers for all you wonderful ladies of this club — —. My husband passed one month ago. He retired April 30, had surgery May 11, then passed a month later. Thirty one years of marriage and life was good. And yes, I feel like half of me is dead. When I was 25 my first husband drowned in a boating accident after three years of marriage. That was horrific as well. Same awful pain. Same loss of my future and my identity. It changed me for life. It took years for me to find myself and live again.
But I do know I am stronger than I feel right now and I will survive. We really are stronger than we know. My husband died suddenly and expectedly in April , on week before our 21 wedding anniversary. The post-mortem came back inconclusive which is not surprising as there was nothing wrong with him. He was fit and well and ran marathons.
My greatest fear happened when my twin sister Linda passed away July 15, My husband cried with me. He and my sister were my whole world as I had no children. Their obits came out on the same day in the newspaper. No one knows the real me like they did and the world seems full of strangers. While I sobbed in my bedroom, my dog howled outside of my door until I let her in to sleep for months on the floor by my bed. I awakened to my own screams four different times and counting and she rushed to my side.
One friend came by the day my husband died and brought food and a Covid risking hug. That was the only hug I had thus far. The good thing is, I live in a small town and I literally can feel the empathy from various people. Thank GOD for them! Being a widow takes guts. We had a life now we are something else, especially for me it is to myself.
I feel I am a stranger. I was widowed a few months ago after a sweet harmonious marriage. All was a blur the first few months doing the death stuff, downsizing the property and sending eleven loads to the dump, people helping, coming, going, a big memorial to plan with displays of his life: father, friend, Rotarian, engineer, writer, fire volunteer.
Now I learn new lessons, new skills, how to use a cell phone, how to cook for myself, how to feel worthy, be disciplined, find out only 25 percent of on line men are wholesome and not losers or scammers or players.
It sounds like I am whining, no I am in training to live life again, to create the novels I have on Amazon, to want, yes to desire, to plan, to love, to see Nashvile and New Orleans. We will return them to you. Do not delay filing your claim just because you do not have all the documents.
We will help you get them.
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